29 June 2012

Minutes, hours, days

Yesterday was our anniversary.  Nine years.  We ate take-out with our kids.  I think we'll try for something a little more romantic this weekend.
We are two different people than we were one year ago.  In fact, we are two different people than we were one week ago.  For better or worse, right?

A few days ago I felt so discouraged, so afraid, so confused.  I remember distinctly thinking  "I know I'm going to forgive him for this, but I can't imagine how..."  The pain is so intense sometimes I can't see any way out of it.  I can't see how we are going to get to a good place again. I can't see how we will end up on the same page again.  

I can't believe it's only been one week, it feels like so much longer.  A couple days after our discussion on Friday we tried to talk about it again.  He wasn't ready to talk, but I tried to force it.  There was still too much residual hurt and anger.  We both agreed it was time we needed.  He asked if that meant space?  I said no, just minutes, hours, days. 

Sure enough, as each day passed I found myself able to make small talk with him again, to laugh again and make jokes about the kids.  It helped a little that he had to go out of town for a couple days.  Isn't it SO annoying sometimes that time is the answer?  I must be the most impatient person alive. 


At  one point during that forced conversation he said to me:

"We're going to get through this, it's going to be okay."

At first I resented that, I felt like he wasn't taking it seriously enough.  Then I appreciated it.  Like Scabs pointed out to me, we have the same goals, we can focus on that. 

So last night after the kids were in bed we spent our anniversary sorting through the sticky stuff and we miraculously came out on top.


  1. Yes! Even though it hurts, each day will bring a little more and a little more clarity. It will keep getting better, :)

  2. Yeah, I'm really bad at the whole 'patience' and 'God's timetable' kinda things. I'm working on it. This trial isn't the first time God's tried to work on my patience with me -- I should really get this down before I get even more teaching trials! :-)

  3. Happy Anniversary and I'm glad for you that it was spent lovingly and together. (((hugs)))

    Hope that your weekend goes just as well! xoxo

  4. I like the saying, "time will be your friend." G and I have chatted about the idea that "time heals all wounds", but in fact it doesn't. Some wounds get worse if they haven't been dealt with. Yes, giving it time is often a good answer, but it should not be used as an excuse to ignore the issue. It seems like you are balancing it well.

    1. I totally agree with this Marlee. I think time gives us what we need TO heal, but doesn't do the healing itself.

  5. Been thinking of you this week. Yay for progress.

    I remember hearing someone say once, "All we have is time." That IS what we have on this earth. Time. Neal Maxwell once said that we are not at home in time, though. Maybe there is something in our spirits that knows that time is a fall-related thing, so it can be easy to fight it and the lessons that time can teach us, like patience, long-suffering, relying on God, humility, etc.