Yesterday was our anniversary. Nine years. We ate take-out with our kids. I think we'll try for something a little more romantic this weekend.
We are two different people than we were one year ago. In fact, we are two different people than we were one week ago. For better or worse, right?
A few days ago I felt so discouraged, so afraid, so confused. I remember distinctly thinking "I know I'm going to forgive him for this, but I can't imagine how..." The pain is so intense sometimes I can't see any way out of it. I can't see how we are going to get to a good place again. I can't see how we will end up on the same page again.
I can't believe it's only been one week, it feels like so much longer. A couple days after our discussion on Friday we tried to talk about it again. He wasn't ready to talk, but I tried to force it. There was still too much residual hurt and anger. We both agreed it was time we needed. He asked if that meant space? I said no, just minutes, hours, days.
Sure enough, as each day passed I found myself able to make small talk with him again, to laugh again and make jokes about the kids. It helped a little that he had to go out of town for a couple days. Isn't it SO annoying sometimes that time is the answer? I must be the most impatient person alive.
RESOLUTION NOW PLEASE!
At one point during that forced conversation he said to me:
"We're going to get through this, it's going to be okay."
At first I resented that, I felt like he wasn't taking it seriously enough. Then I appreciated it. Like Scabs pointed out to me, we have the same goals, we can focus on that.
So last night after the kids were in bed we spent our anniversary sorting through the sticky stuff and we miraculously came out on top.