10 April 2012

Virtual Friends

You know that Brad Paisley song "Online?" It's a little dated, he refers to his MySpace account, and well, MySpace is SOOO five years ago.   But he talks about how in real life he's a geek who lives in his parent's basement but online he's handsome and successful.  I feel like that's me- but backwards. 

Online I'm just the wife of a porn addict.  In reality, I'm so much cooler!

Okay- but that's not really the reason for this post.  Fortunately the awesome women I've met online have the benefit of being totally real online.  We can use our anonymity to discuss our true selves. Therefore, they have accepted and loved me without even knowing my actual coolness.

But I do feel like I live two lives.  I have two blogs, and Pete and I refer to this blog as the "other" blog and my non-anonymous blog as the "original" blog. 

But I'm distracted again, perhaps that is subject for another day...

What I really want to say here is how much I appreciate my virtual friends.  They are so far from virtual now, but in the beginning that is exactly what they were.  Strangers, no faces and not even actual names. 

I said this as a comment on another blog once, but I want the world to know that even in the ugly and dark garden of porn addiction, beautiful friendships grow and blossom.  I also have said in emails and comments that someday I am going to plan a retreat for my WoPA and [former]WoPA friends where we can laugh and cry, free of judgement.  And as one friend added, eat lots of chocolate. 

If you read this blog, and you still feel lonely, I encourage you to reach out.  Read through the other blogs I link to, and the blogs they link to, get on the forum, find someone you can relate to and reach out.  Eventually you can share real names, exchange texts, and read eachother's "original" blogs.  And your life will be enriched and your heart will increase in love and gratitude for the individuals on this earth that God gave you to help and inspire you.  That is how I feel anyway. 

LOVE YOU ALL SISTAS.

16 comments:

  1. This gave me chills Jane! Just 2 seconds ago I told a reader on my blog to check out my 'old blog' and all the blogs in my 'blog list' because she needed a place for support and love.

    Gosh, how I WISH I would've had this much support 2 years ago when I was going through my own personal hell alone. No one was really blogging then and I was thrilled at the one comment I'd get every 12 posts... lol.... BUT now, it seems like there is this bonding sense of community, support and LOVE that's going viral! I LOVE IT!

    I have learned so much from each of the different bloggers in my path to healing... and I love that I'm finally seeing many of them in their 'original' lives... because they have become even more beautiful and incredible in my eyes!

    What a lovely safe haven this has become and I'm so happy I've been and still get to be apart of it!

    LOVE YOU TOO SISTA! (funny, I referred to you ladies as my 'sisters' in the comment on my blog just 2 seconds ago... same wavelength anyone?? :)

    Tonight, I thank God for you, my friend :)

    XO

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  2. Backatcha, Jane! I think we all will agree that you rock. ;)

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    Replies
    1. Gosh, I'm all warm and fuzzy. Seriously I love my friends!

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  3. high 5! so when are we gonna go on this retreat? I think we might need to do this pretty soon.

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    1. Yes!!!!!!! I'm so up for this ;)

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    2. I might have access to a little resort/cabin in the mountains of utah. Food, games,laughing, crying...I'd love to meet you all!

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  4. I am new here. I have been struggling with a version of all this since 2006. I have been reading through so many of you various blog posts and i just want to cry. I think you women are amazing and I hope I can find some support online. My closest "real" friends just can't relate and I hate talking about all this with my family since I have decided to make things work with my husband.

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    1. Send me (or any of these amazing women) an email. Most of us have an email address listed on our blogs. We want you in our circle of friends, ALL are welcome.

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    2. makesmestronger22@gmail.com

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    3. this is me...you guys have inspired me...

      http://itwillmakemestronger.blogspot.com/

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  5. Sometimes I like the anonymity. I can say things I'd never say on my "real" blog. But then again, I know that if I met you ladies in person, it would be like one amazingly glorified group meeting on steroids. Ha!

    Mrs M--Welcome! Glad you're here! Well, in all honesty, I wish you weren't here, because that would mean that you weren't facing this ugly problem, but since you are facing it, I'm glad you want to face it with us. :)

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  6. you ladies are AMAZING!!!!!! I already love you.
    green olives

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  7. I bit the bullet. http://greenolives42.blogspot.com/
    Thank you for the inspiration.

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  8. So much cooler OFFline? That's my version. :D I'm glad to know the less-cool online you too. (Although it's hard to imagine a cooler version of you here...)

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