the Therapist

I never thought I'd ever need a therapist.  I don't even like the name "therapist."  I prefer counselor.  But that's all semantics.

I was more nervous for my appointment than I was for my first group meeting.  But it went well.  She didn't knock my socks off with clarity about my psyche- but she helped me.

She helped me to sort out some issues that I conveniently blamed on my husband's addiction, that in fact are very common in marriages without addiction.  I felt both relief and disappointment.  I felt relieved that I was not alone with my baggage, but disappointed that I lost my cop-out.  So much for thinking things would get better if only HE would get better. 

What I appreciated most, and what I would say to anyone who is considering seeing a counselor, is that she gave me practical tools.  She gave me suggestions, even specific behaviors.  That is what I've been looking for.  General truths and principles of intimacy and relationships are helpful.  But I've been desperate for someone to help me know what to DO.  Counselors are great for this.  And if the tools she suggests don't work? She reassured me that we could try something different next go around. 

She also had skills that allowed her to ask questions that caused me to think.  As I said before- I didn't come away with clarity. But I did come away with some new ideas to ponder.  If this were a critique of counseling I would definitely say YES.

GO.