I've met some remarkable people in this other world of mine. I guess I use the term "met" loosely as I haven't actually met most of them in person. But through Mac I came across the Blog About Love where Mara and Danny share their experiences. Danny wrote a post a few weeks ago that spoke to me. I emailed him my gratitude for his words and explained a little bit about my situation. He responded with even more helpful insights. He said to me:
"And remember that you have a better opportunity to learn about God's kind of love now than probably any other time in your life. Embrace that, and embrace what it is that He WILL teach you if you let him."
I've been thinking about it since he wrote it, but on Sunday it hit me. I felt the spirit whisper to me "What are you waiting for?" I have been given some wonderful spiritual impressions and then just left them by the wayside. I have not turned my broken heart over to the Lord. All at once I fell to my knees and told my Heavenly Father that I'm ready now to be healed, to learn and to change.
The next day, Monday, was one of my hardest days yet. I called and made an appointment with a counselor for the first time. I wept as I did so. It was the moment where I intellectually acknowledged that I am emotionally broken. I have been hurt and I don't have the skills to heal on my own. There has been damage that is causing me to have unhealthy feelings and I need my Savior and experts on earth to help me.