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| Oh my gosh I'm DYING for these. |
Pete is calling my diet an "empathy diet", to help me see how hard it can be to give something up. I hesitate to draw further analogies here, because
1. I don't mean to imply that giving up sugar can be considered the same difficulty as giving up a chemical or psychological addiction. (Although I definitely think there are psychologic and physical components to this...)
and 2. I would argue that the stakes are much higher when dealing with a pornography or drug addiction. We're talking destroyed relationships, eternal consequences, even death.
Having said all that, this sugar bit is giving me some insight. I'm identifying all sorts of addict behaviors in myself.
~ The cravings are CRAZY. I had no idea.
~ I have become irritable and grumpy when I think about what I can't eat.
~ I think about what I can't eat, constantly. I am really quite surprised about this one. Starting after lunch, when I would usually indulge in a chocolate treat of some kind, my thoughts are over-taken by desire, then anger over my desire, then guilt over my anger, then frustration at all of the above.
~ I fantasize about what I will eat as soon as my 30 days are up. I salivate over the treats my kids are eating.
~ I mistreat the people around me,(the ones I love most), because I am so annoyed with myself for the way giving up this silly little habit is effecting me.
Then of course I have my good moments, where my resolve is strong, I feel good about myself for having the self-discipline to do it at all. I hope the parallels are obvious.
But I'm also seeing an important distinction. It's not just that I want to reluctantly give up sugar. I don't want to give it up only to be perpetually disappointed in doing so. I don't want to woefully dismiss it, sad to see it go. I want to find a meaningful [dietary] existence without sugar. Not just biding time, but peacefully living without it. ENJOYING life without it.
That's how I feel about Pete. I don't want him to give this up reluctantly. I don't want him to feel his life is lacking without it, to look back longingly at his indulgence. I want him to find a meaningful [sexual] existence without porn. ENJOYING life without it. I know HE knows that such a life is possible. But something is still just not clicking.
I have a bad sugar addiction, and I find myself identifying so much with my husband (on a smaller scale, but still).
ReplyDeleteI love this post.
I think as you begin to get over your cravings and start to see the health and energy benefits, it will get easier. You are right, though. It IS hard to give stuff up. And lust addiction will stop spiritual development in its' tracks. Ironic that the cravings, if not controlled, will lead to us not having a spouse in the eternities, or at least a loss of a continuation of "the seeds" as it says in D&C. I'm assuming that means no S-E-X either. That should scare an addict straight ( though it probably won't). Love your blog!
ReplyDeleteWe play "compare the addiciton" on a regular basis. It's brutal. I think you'll be surprised how quickly the cravings and obsessive thinking go away with sugar though. It seems like sex addiction gets stronger instead of weaker with abstinence... maybe that's a sign Husband is doing it wrong though.
ReplyDeleteI have had to go off sugar several times and just for information it is hard until day 7, with the last 2 days being the hardest, but by day 8 it is suddenly much easier. Ad by day 10 you are usually feeling pretty fabulous. I started a sugar/wheat free diet on the 31st, so I have 2 more days, and I am looking forward to day 8 :) I remember comparing it to my husbands addiction once, and I caved after 3 days that time. But he didn't get it right the first time either. It takes them months to make it a few weeks, then years to make it 8 months. So we need to allow ourselves the same love and support, it has helped me be more kind to myself. Give myself a year to go 2-3 months is more reasonable for anyone to break any habit. God doesn't expect us to be perfect the first time :) we should be so kind to ourselves
ReplyDeleteThanks for the great post on your blog, it really gives me an insight on this topic.
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