After hard times I become a sponge for inspiration and knowledge. Everything I read I apply to my own life and situation. So I just want to share a few articles/blogs/things I've been spiritually digesting of late.
I'm often the last to hear about things, so if you've already read this story/blog then you can skip straight to the comments and validate my opinion. Haha. Just kidding. It's about an LDS gay man, happily married to a woman. I don't really want to get into a discussion of his lifestyle choices here, you can read the 3,634 comments for that. I just want to talk about how much I appreciated his courage, his authenticity and his humor. So, here's what I love about Josh Weed coming out of the closet.
1. I admire his authenticity. There are obvious parallels between the shame he felt at times and his concern for how people in his life would react, with my own life. While I get the impression that he no longer feels any shame about who he is, (and his wife likewise) I am sure it was a process to get there. I often feel the difficulty of keeping secret this very defining experience of my life. I can relate so much to their desire for the protection of privacy and anonymity, and yet the nagging feeling that there is value in vulnerability and honesty.
2. I LOVE what he said about intimacy. It gives me so much hope that on our journey Pete and I can discover the closeness and communication associated with sex, that isn't related to hormones or carnal desires. Mr. Scabs reassured us all that sex in marriage is a totally different ballgame than sex with prostitues, or the sex depicted in pornography. I feel like Josh totally validated this point from a totally unexpected point of view, and I love it.
3. His general LOVE for everyone seeps from his words. He is in a position to be compassionate and loving because he can relate so well to so many different situations. I really believe that a significant part of his joy and fulfillment comes from the things I am so desperately trying to learn. He is making the best of the hand he was dealt, and in the process he is learning how to really love.
A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to meet some of the women I've met online. During the hours I spent at the airport, on the plane, and then in the airport again I was filled with so much giddy, excited LOVE that I was being kinder to everyone, smiling at everyone. I really felt like I was "in love" all over again. This experience taught me an important lesson. The joys of love are SO MUCH bigger than sexual attraction in a romantic relationship. True love for an individual outside of marriage, or even family, can exist and be overpowering and all-consuming. And it can make us feel an abundance of happiness and desire to be better people. Going out on a limb a bit here, I think that is one of the keys to Josh's happines as a gay man in a straight relationship. At first, that love develops betweeen one or two people who have become vulnerable to you, and you to them, then it can expand and grow until you feel it for everyone around you, and you can truly accept people as they are.
Anyway- his "coming out" post is long (I'm so demanding with my requests for your time, aren't I?) But read it all the way through if you can, there is good stuff from beginning to end.