Wow. I really can't believe I've had that much to say. Who am I kidding? I'm never lacking in things to say.
In celebration (?) I have a few links to post:
A teaser for the SHAMED movie. I can't help but feel love and hope when I watch these videos. I would love to have some of these people over for dinner. Including the professionals.
http://vimeo.com/45676200
Since this is the place where I can share all the things that are too Taboo to share in my real life: Here is a link about "Defuzzing Your Person." Sometimes I'm in the mood for this sort of thing, today I'm not really. But maybe you are? I like it because this lady is very respectful of body, and if it's not your thing, that's great. http://velvetdragon.com/etc/shave.html
Some really good info on codependency. Just when I think I've learned it all (haha!) I find some new helpful knowledge. Knowledge is so great. http://mentalhealthlibrary.info/library/code/codelds/codeldsauthor/links/hopebook/adjustin3.htm
Right now I feel like I'm getting so much better at coping with relapses, but I'm also realizing that in a weird way I just postpone my reactions. (Thanks Alicia for helping me see this.) Instead of having an immediate meltdown, I have a slow and subtle slip into my self-pity funk. Which leads to an eventual relapse into some more subtle codependent behaviors.
I suck at analogies. Really. But I came up with this bizarre one that best describes the way I feel about my WoPA friends.
Have you ever stayed in the bathtub until all the water is drained out? Laying in a warm full bathtub is comfortable. But as the water slowly drains your body is left to support it's own weight. Bodies are heavy and bathtubs are hard. By the time all the water is gone it is really uncomfortable to be laying there.
Thanks for being my bathwater everyone. Seriously your love and comments (particularly the ones that have the word "bahahaha" in them) are my bouancy to keep me from feeling the hard parts of life too uncomfortably.
Do I really have another 100 posts in me? Pshh. Probably.
Congrats on 100! I've enjoyed 'em all!
ReplyDeleteI'm always such a champ when he tells me he's relapsed... In the moment, I rock. A few weeks later, I'm a dizzzaster, haha. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you have at least another 100 in ya because I just love it when you do update! You're great.
~Alicia
The slow slip into codependency, I'm going to have to watch that. Because just 20 minutes ago (!) I got news of a slip and I totally held it together. I'm so glad to have read this post and I can be hyper-vigilant and continue to keep it together. (And if I don't can I call you and sob?)
ReplyDeleteAnd please, please, please keep writing. I love bloggin' with Jane time!
Jane, I certainly do hope that you have 100 more in you :). I think what you and others in this community are doing is very special and very important. Whenever a reader of our blog comes to us with a question regarding this stuff, I always refer them to you and to Mac. Just sent a dear reader here this afternoon.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I wish I had written more during the days of difficulty in my first marriage, instead of after. I had many profound personal insights at that time that could only have come to me because the challenges I was faced with were so present and potentially all consuming. They represented answers to questions I was asking myself every day for over a year. Though I remember many of them and they currently inform the way I write about the different trials any of us face...many of them are lost. That is until I come and read a post from you or someone else currently in the thick of it all and say to myself "I remember discovering that exact same thing". It's always nice to know some of the most important lessons I learned in settings different from yours or someone else's, are the same lessons that you and so many others have learned. No matter the circumstance, no matter the people involved, no matter the degree of betrayal or pain or disappointment - we all seem to come to similar conclusions, and they often match the conclusions reached by the great minds and spiritual leaders of the past (not least of all the teachings of Christ). This kind of stuff is the Gospel in action...no longer just words and platitudes, but it is the living application of at-one-ment.
Thanks for being a great example of working to handle the difficulties of life with compassion, understanding, strength, etc. I look forward to more to come.
Lots of love,
Danny
I just want to say bahahaha.
ReplyDeleteAnd that you are awesome. You'd better keep writing!
That didn't come across so well. I just hope you keep writing. Here's to another hundred posts!
ReplyDeletei have no doubt that you'll find 100 more discoveries to share! You are the coolest!
ReplyDeleteHmm... I don't know where I have been, because apparently I have missed a lot of posts on your blog. I am going to have to catch up tomorrow! Seriously though, I was just thinking this weekend about how much I love your mind. I hope you posts 5,000 posts.
ReplyDeleteI draw so much strength from you guys. I LOVE knowing that other woman out there are dissecting and making sense of the world in the same way that I am. I always feel strengthened when I read your blogs, because I can see the gears turning in all your brains, and I realize my brain is slowly making the same connections and we are growing! You are my bathwater too. :)