04 February 2013

Jane attempts a book review

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We are into February now and I'm failing and nearly all my New Year's resolutions. Sigh.  Except I DID give up sugar for a month and I DID read two books in January.  The first was Mansfield Park, by Jane Austen and I loved every page of it.  Since I'm so successful at resolutions, I've resolved to be more like the ever-humble Fanny Price. 
The second book arrived in my mailbox with just enough time to finish it in February.  It was this book, by Rhyll Croshaw
Now for an embarrassing confession.  Up to this point I've never read a book about recovery.  I hope Rhyll and any other authors [who will probably never read this] can forgive give me, but I'm always a bit cynical when people turn their tragedy into a royalty-earning paperback. 
Ouch. I know that was awful.
But I genuinely believe that Rhyll means to help, and not to financially gain by this.  And like Melody Beattie and others, they have a gift for understanding that blesses many lives when they share.  Including mine.  I really liked this book
I liked this book because I felt like it summarized in a practical way some of the most important discoveries I've made in the last two years.  And all in one place!  It is straightforward, it is easy to understand.  She articulates well, and I feel like she reaches the common denominator.  It's not written by a scientist, or a journalist, or even a psychologist.  It's written by a WoPA. 

I don't really know what else to say, except don't take my word for it.  Read it.  It's not too long, it's easy to intellectually digest, and you can write notes to yourself all over it. I will share a few of my favorite quotes.
"The bar has been raised for us.  We no longer are content with a parallel relationship; we are working towards a unified, synergistic relationship..."
"When we have clear boundaries, we will not find it necessary to explain why we are doing something or why we are not doing something."
"We must stop being afraid of our addict husbands. We must look up to God with courage and faith. Our Heavenly Father does not condone the behaviors associated with sexual addiction, and He does not want His daughters to enable it."
"Forgiveness is a gift that I give to my soul...it is not conditioned upon apologies or restitutions on the part of the offender."
And lastly,
"Caring for ourselves expresses our appreciation to God by our careful stewardship of His creation - life." 
There are several other thoughts I'll probably write about in the future.  But in the meantime, read the book. 
Post Edit: In the back she has a few pages of what she calls "Road Maps" that I think are really helpful in determining if your husband is in recovery, and likewise if YOU are in recovery. It's good stuff.  


  1. I purchased and read the book recently. I thought it was very good, and certainly held my interest. One story that infurated me was the poor mom who had to allow unsupervised visitation by the ex-husband who she knew had sexually abused their two young children. (They were too young to legally testify against him.) I had to put it down for awhile after reading that. The rest of it I thought was great, with a lot wonderful advice.

  2. Loved this book:) I am going to re-read it and write all over it.