Faith does not come easily for me, I have to work at it. There are so many things to doubt. And even harder still is patience. Even after I am able to say "Okay, God can take care of this." I still want to say, "But He needs to take care of it right now."
For awhile I was seeing this quote all over Pinterest.
Once I decided to let God heal Pete, I decided I wanted it done right away, I wanted immediate results, closure, I wanted to move on. Then I learned a bit more about it, and I realized it wasn't going to work that way, and even if God was ready to take this temptation from Pete, it was up to Pete to let him.
Now I am ready to have my own shortcomings taken away. I truly desire to change, so why isn't it happening? Why am I still getting annoyed with people? Why do I still have issues with intimacy? I am praying, I am aware, why isn't God fixing me?
Last night at group meeting there was a quote that helped me change my perspective. Again, from Elder Maxwell.
"Spiritual submissiveness is not accomplished in an instant, but by incremental improvements."
Sometimes it seems those incremental improvements are imperceptible. (How's that for alliteration?)
Furthermore, I'm determined to have everyone else who suffers be healed in an instant. Each time there is a new attendee at group meetings I want to shove my so-called wisdom down their throats so that they can go home with a changed heart, having made no effort on their own to discover these truths. Someone finally had explain to me that I was being a little overwhelming.
Pete pointed out that patience is often associated with faith in the scriptures, and that if we really believe that God is in control, we can patiently wait to see his hand.
So I will be adding patience to my list of things I need to learn. I just wish I'd hurry up and get it already.