25 March 2012


I was thinking this morning about what I wrote and I felt like I should add a little note. 

Everything I suggested was in response to a slip/relapse/episode.  I don't have any advice for how to respond to the initial disclosure, there was no "D-Day", as they say, for Pete and I.  His descent into addiction was subtle and gradual and I watched it unfold until it was severe enough that I began to respond in all the wrong ways that I described previously. 

Anyway- I hope you are hanging in there.  I heard a new story of pornography addiction recently that broke my heart.  It is a 17 year old young man, who started looking at pornography on his cell phone at age 14.  He was recently arrested for molesting children, as young as three and including his little brother. 

I felt anger, not just anger but RAGE, not at the boy or his parents, but at the industry that denies wrong-doing, that ruins lives, that destroys individuals who both participate in person or by viewing.  And then of course there are the victims. 

Not wanting to end on that depressing note- some words from one of my favorite talks- Come What May and Love It by Elder Wirthlin that I recently read on Wife A's blog:

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."
Wife A is an awesome example of someone who turns her anger at the industry into action and I admire her proactive attitude. 


  1. We had no D-Day either. And I feel like I tried ALL of the "Wrong ways" you listed too. Why is it so much easier to do it wrong? Why is it so natural to blow up, or pout, or any of the other bad ideas?

  2. I love that talk and post, I'm so grateful you reminded me of it today. I love wife A as well, and you Jane! I find a lot of strength from your blog.

    Mrs. A, I wonder the same thing. I think it hurts so much, it hits so hard in a spot that's supposed to be filled with only positive emotions that you can only be sad and angry, that's natural. But we grow closer to the Savior as he takes our hands and teaches us to go from angry to compassionate and forgiving.

  3. I had a D-day. It was killer, but really, is there anyway to prepare for such a thing? You just fall apart and I think that's ok. You grieve and mourn, you scream and cry, you might throw things or burn all his underwear like i did...who knows. I don't think you in a state of metal clarity.

    The Industry! So infuriating. If we came across a business that treated it's employees with a disregard for health and safety, employed underage workers, unpaid, spread disease and mental illness, destroyed communities would we patron them? No, of course not.

    I feel the same fire as Mrs. A to do something in my community about it!