Everything I suggested was in response to a slip/relapse/episode. I don't have any advice for how to respond to the initial disclosure, there was no "D-Day", as they say, for Pete and I. His descent into addiction was subtle and gradual and I watched it unfold until it was severe enough that I began to respond in all the wrong ways that I described previously.
Anyway- I hope you are hanging in there. I heard a new story of pornography addiction recently that broke my heart. It is a 17 year old young man, who started looking at pornography on his cell phone at age 14. He was recently arrested for molesting children, as young as three and including his little brother.
I felt anger, not just anger but RAGE, not at the boy or his parents, but at the industry that denies wrong-doing, that ruins lives, that destroys individuals who both participate in person or by viewing. And then of course there are the victims.
Not wanting to end on that depressing note- some words from one of my favorite talks- Come What May and Love It by Elder Wirthlin that I recently read on Wife A's blog:
"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."
Wife A is an awesome example of someone who turns her anger at the industry into action and I admire her proactive attitude.