I think I had a mini-anxiety attack last night. My heart felt like it was racing and I felt like I couldn't catch my breath. I got in a hot bath but the heat just made me feel like I was suffocating. So I wrapped my towel around me and stood in a discreet place just outside my garage in the black night. It was so cold but I watched my warm breath float up into the dark sky while steam came off my bare feet.
I had a much needed (obviously!) therapy appointment scheduled for today and I couldn't find anyone to watch my kids. Ordinarily I could cope with a little obstacle like that...
Lasting motivation just won't stick around for me. I do well for a few days, and then I have a sad moment, which turns into a sad day, which turns into a sad week. And before I know it my life has become unmanageable again. (Um, Step 1 please?) And by unmanageable I am referring to the fact that I have gained 12 pounds in six months, and may or may not have mold growing in more than one place in my kitchen.
So while I am not sure what I need to help me find sustainable progress, a good song always helps.
Here is my new theme song. If this throwback doesn't make you LOL, you might be worse off than EVEN ME! And I apologize if the green polka-dot/sequin leotards trigger you. I found them ridiculously comical.